binding

forever. and ever...and ever.

is this a release or a build up

of pressure....

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sketchbook. summer 2008

forever

its funny how something so inconsequential as reading a two sentence email can change your life forever after. one year ago today our worlds collided and i will forever thank god for that.

++++++++++++++++

slm... rest in peace, my treasure.

how quickly things change

how quickly things are forgotten and replaced.

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don't look back

don't pretend.

the term

a rumpled sheet
of brown paper
about the length

and apparent bulk
of a man was
rolling with the

wind slowly over
and over in
the street as

a car drove down
upon it and
crushed it to

the ground. unlike
a man it rose
again rolling

with the win over
and over to be as
it was before.


-william carlos williams

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one of my favorite poems by w.c.m.

tlr

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polaroid collage. 2008

diane victor

to say that the work that diane victor does blew me completely away is putting it lightly. she is profiled in this month's issue of Juxtapoz which is featuring African art.

"these works are made with candle smoke on paper, a medium i came across by a chance experiment. it involves literally catching smoke on paper. the medium is fragile and transient, dissolving if you try to stabilize them with fixative. drawings are smoked onto a surface suspended about my head and range from A3 format to over 1.5 meters in size.

i have worked with portraits of marginalized and threatened people. shown here are examples from the series on HIV positive community member from the impoverished East Cape in South Africa, fragile and ephemeral lives often dissolving unrecorded, left as traces of smoke on paper. Transient and vulnerable lives in a fragile society"

-diane victor

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text excerpted from Juxtapoz #94 Nov, 2008 issue

letter to a friend

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NARK

nark is a north jersey graffiti artist who has been around for the last few years. i've seen his tags all over in my travels, though unfortunately, most of the time i see them while i'm driving and can't stop to record them. i've gotten a few shots though, this being the newest. while not the best of his work i've seen, it still made me stop take notice and isn't that supposed to be the point?

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photo: overlooking the passaic river- little falls, nj- october 29, 2008

is that a fact?

+++++++++++++++

photo: carroll gardens, brooklyn. august 30th, 2008

if i break down all that i am

someone asked me the other day....do i still think about her?

every single day....every single day. every time i laugh. every time i cry. every single day.

slm...........

++++++++++++++++

photocopied from an anatomy book and drawn on by me.

inspiration- alex pardee

+++++++++++++++

i don't like alex pardee's work. which is exactly why i love it. i feel repulsed, yet drawn in at the same time to his creepy and disturbing images, so much so...that they almost seem whimsical to me in a way. he has that raw imagination and skill with a pen/paint brush, as well as the tenacity to put it all out there, that in taken in combination is rare, and that i wish i had within me.

his work has appeared in Juxtapoz magazine, he recently published a book of his art Awful Homesick, he has worked with TwentyTwenty Skateboards and Hurley International (on a clothing line that will be available at Macy's stores), and he has done album art work for several bands, though he is best known for his artwork for The Used.

http://www.eyesuckink.com/

http://eyesuckink.blogspot.com/

it can't matter anymore

so it just doesn't.

+++

the remnants of you slowly start to disappear......burning as they break apart....

e v e r y t h i n g

w i l l

c h a n g e.

e v e r y t h i n g

a l r e a d y

h a s. . . . . . .

++++++++++++++++

detail from mixed media piece "burning" (pen/ink/wax on collage/paper- 11x14" 2008)

last one standing

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photo: wooster st. soho-nyc
8/2008

harlem

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harlem, nyc. september 2007

think (let tomorrow bee)

Could I hold on, or should I hold on to you?
Ask, I'll tell the truth; there's nothing I should hide
And if I move too slow, if you're bored I need to know
I'm weak to hide inside, to force what I don't feel

If all we have is a question, there's no hope to find a future

But something in me cries for you
It feels too real this time
I think I love you, though I don't know what love means
Girl of my dreams, or a friend that one day leaves
Could I trust this when I've lied to myself before?
Will I do it all again to taste what I've imagined we could be?

Look what I've become; this pressure that we feel
In a world of possibilities, this may not prove real
But could we give enough, backed against a wall?
Too close to breathe, but too far to fall
All I ever wanted was to feel you closer to me
And it's sad to feel this resistance
What once before had felt so free
Let tomorrow beeI can't be so impatient
Pushing every answer, when there isn't any question
Let me feel good now
And though this may have to end, I hope I'm always with you
Honestly your friend
I think I love you

+++

louis barlow "think-let tomorrow bee" (from sebadoh's "bubble and scrape" album and one of my favorite songs of all time. they have been in serious heavy rotation on my ipod for days now)

+++

ain't it the truth

+++++++++++++++++++

photo: outside the TapRoom 10/11/08. mifflin st, south philadelphia

keep laughing

even when you realize just how bad you fucked up.....never let the truth on....they'll never know if you never say...

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(photo- brooklyn, ny 8/2008)

peace

one of my newer paintings.

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acrylic. caulk. collage on canvas. 11"x14" 9/2008

jennifer, wednesday evening

72 wooster st., nyc

doors lead to questions....are you willing to open one?

things happen

between the raindrops...be careful.

callowhill st.

i added a little bit of art to the streets of philadelphia. here is one of the spots i thought could use some color and the hoos touch.

friend of the night

mogwai. philadelphia. 9/19/2008

smile

sometimes it's hard to remember to....so i write myself lil reminders.

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inspiration-space invader

space invader is more than a name for these cute little "ghosts" (as a former friend used to call them) seen here. space invader is the name of a french street artist (who remains anonymous. he does give interviews, but will not reveal his name or face) who chose his name not just for the fact that he uses characters reminiscent of the classic video game, but because of the sheer act of bringing his art to the streets is space invading. he invades public space, turning the street corner, the side of a building, a sign, etc, into an art space. no place is safe. he has invaded in africa, asia, australia, new york, los angeles, and in most major cities in europe. it is said that one of his invasions is visible in the background of a scene in the film "amelie" (i've only seen the movie once and didn't catch it, but perhaps if i watch it again...). i for one find it amazing that there are still people out there who are still willing to take risks, to engage in an the illegal act of "defacing" a public space to get their art seen and felt. i just wonder how many thousands of people walk by his invaders every day without noticing or knowing what they're looking at. i keep my eyes out whenever i'm in new york on the chance that i might see a spot he has invaded. i have seen three invaders with my own eyes in nyc, all pictured above. it brings me a certain sense of happiness and feeling of awe whenever i discover a new one and anytime i have someone new with me, i try to take them to the spot so they can experience it as well. it's rare that the other party feels as strongly about it as i do, but all i can do is try to share the feeling and know that i-hopefully-passed something inspiring on to someone else.

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photos-

1. wooster street, nyc.- i saw this during the fall of 2004. it is now gone

2. 10th ave and 15th street, manhattan- this was taken sometime in 2006. this too is now gone.

3. 10th ave and 15th street, manhattan- but have no fear, mr. invader struck again in the same spot. this was taken august 2008

http://www.space-invaders.com/som.html

i don't want to miss a thing

no matter how small or mundane.

on the road

i drive a lot. and by a lot, i mean A LOT, so it's always nice when i see things along the way and in my travels that make me smile or intrigue me visually or both. i took this photo heading into jersey city recently. i know it was totally irresponsible of me considering i was at the wheel (though moving relatively slowly), but when the moment happens, you have to seize it.

thoughts

sometimes i just need to take a minute out for myself.

there's a part of me that works just like a child

+++

it's the little things in life that make me stop and take notice. and smile of course.

+++

1. found art. (found in jersey city, nj 8/9/2008)

2. chalk drawings outside of my apartment (fuji instamax print)

until the shaking stops

the fibers in my muscles, each and every one, up at arms. bristling, burning hot with a slow rage i can't stand to feel. the feeling of anger reserved for when i'm hurt and don't know how to deal with it other than acting like an animal cut and bleeding, backing away from the help it needs to be healed. and then i feel it begin. it, the low wild shaking that starts somewhere deep inside my chest, radiates outward all the way down my limbs vibrating every joint, tendon, the very sinew of my soul. i'm burning up in my face, neck, chest, heart, hands, everywhere as an icy shot of pure sorrow runs right through my veins; the shaking intensifies and i can't, i just can't. i fall to the floor. defeated again. tears soaked right through my skin. i want to cry out so i know i'm not alone, but i can't open up my mouth. assuming no one will hear me if i do, no one does hear me because i don't. i am so incredibly foolish.

+++++

i don't know how to not push you all away...i'm sorry

+++++

it's getting old

the invisibility game. time out. i don't want to play anymore.

bad mood

be it "angry bad" or "sad bad," whenever i find myself in such a state, there is one place alone i can escape to...you know where that is.........

take a look around

you never know what you'll see.

+++++++++++++++

1. wildwood, nj

2. random typewriter (that cost too much at an antique store)

3. cesar's tattoo gun (one of many. he made this one himself)

4. forest drive, bloomingdale, nj.

inspiration- dylan scholinksi

Born Daphne, Scholinski grew up near Chicago. A tomboyish young girl, she suffered intense bullying for not being girly enough. She became a troubled teen whose behavioral problems doctors attributed to a diagnosed "gender identity disorder." At age 15, she was committed to a psychiatric hospital, where she stayed for three yearsHer treatment was designed to make her identify as a "sexual female." It included make-up lessons, mandatory dress requirements and coaching in the art of flirtation. A 1997 book recounting the experience, "The Last Time I Wore a Dress: A Memoir" (Penguin/Putnam), received national attention.

Unsurprisingly, the artist's confinement - and the questionable and spectacularly unsuccessful course of treatment - forms the organizing theme of Dylan's work. Each painting is like a personal journal entry commenting on a facet of the artist's tortured childhood and subsequent steps at resolving the identity issues that had caused so much pain.

What is surprising about these raw, edgy works is their wit and elegance. Humor has been the artist's path from darkness. It forms a path for us, as well, providing a safe route for us to enter into a world that we would otherwise find too disquieting. The artist's wit assures us that these are not the rantings of a mental patient. They are lucid, self-aware statements of an artist who sees his history with a surprising level of clarity, acceptance and forgiveness.

Painted in the grays, blacks and foggy colors of a nightmare, the paintings are nonetheless aesthetically pleasing. They are technically strong and exquisitely balanced. Each work commands attention, compelling us to focus closely - to dig through layers of history and subtle (sometimes not so subtle) allusions so that we might reach an understanding of the artist's past and his triumphant arrival at the present. They invite us to feel our own emotions and to connect with the artist's. They seek unity through empathy.

Dylan explains, "I paint for my survival and myself … without my art, I would likely be dead. My purpose is to encourage the sympathetic indulgence of emotions. If you can reach these emotions in yourself, you may identify them in others, and we will all have better understanding, compassion, and tolerance of each other."

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text and images borrowed from Nevin Kelly Gallery

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i read "the last time i wore a dress" many years back and just recently re-discovered dylan's work and his paintings. i find inspiration in his work because despite the cruel, unfair treatment he experienced as a teenager, he has chosen to move forward and share his experiences in a positive way through art and words. and of course, the asthetic of his work- the incorporation of collage and text within the dark themes he chronicals- is visually pleasing to me as well. he has much to teach the world and many stories to share and i'm glad that he is doing so.

no time

i have nothing else to add. it speaks for itself. it just makes me sad when people (including myself) sometimes forget about love, instead gravitating towards the ugly depths of hatred. i'll never really understand it.

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photo: main street- bloomingdale, nj

sketchbook