sketchbook

new polaroids

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1. promises/words (this was inspired by fugazi and other...things. i plan to expand on the idea and make more pieces)

2. kristen-philadelphia (technically not a polaroid, but rather a fuji instamax, though still the same concept)

3. flipside (pompton lakes, nj. one of my oldest haunts and a place where i have fond memories of digging for vinyl treasures)

4. wildwood (i love the ferris wheel with a special kind of love reserved for magical things)

philadelphia

how i love you so. perhaps one day, i will call you home. for now, we remain apart except for those few fleeting moments. sigh.

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photos- street art, 4th and south.......mike and snow walking noah and crackers.

a little calm on a hot day

it's all i need, really.

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marshland at lowtide between stone harbor and wildwood, nj. 7/20/2008

twist and turn

my heart.

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telephone pole. reeve, ave-bloomingdale. i like to walk around aimlessly on sweltering afternoons. just thinking and exploring and not being bothered by anyone or anything. its truly a thing of beauty.

sunday, 5:12am

time barely exists for me anymore. sure i have my obligations, my duty and responsibilities but time...what exactly is it? something to be filled up with the mundane, the banality of another day...or night as were the case. i see every hour of the day over the course of a week. week after week, month after month...will it eventually turn into year after year? this graveyard grind gets to me sometimes and i'm not entirely sure it's okay for someone to see every hour of the day on a regular basis. i don't think that makes a lot of logical sense to be awake all of the day and all of the night. to never know up from down or down from up. it can really grind you down and exhaust you after a while. even when i'm asleep, i'm awake.

(photo: behind my apartment, shortly after sunrise)

wandering

some days, for lack of anything else to do, this is what i do, wander. with a tiny camera in my pocket, just seeing what i can discover on my own two feet.

moth(ra). outside of my apartment.

passaic river along 23/pompton ave, little falls

reeve ave, bloomingdale

small slivers of calm can, and do, exist.

(from my afternoon walk)

inspiration-roland barthes

"one day, quite some time ago, i happened on a photograph of napoleon's youngest brother, jerome, taken in 1852. and i realized then, with an amazement i have not been able to lessen since: 'i am looking at eyes that looked at the emperor.' sometimes i would mention this amazement, but since no one seemed to share it, nor even to understand it (life consists of these little touches of solitude), i forgot about it."

-roland barthes.

excerpted from "the specialty of photography" the first essay in Camera Lucida

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i have always found inspiration in this simple passage. i wrote an essay on it in college because it just amazed me that much. and were roland barthes not dead, and i able to speak more than just a few snippets of french, i would tell him i understand his amazment. and that i most certainly share it, because indeed i do.

(the irony of this post is that i was unable to find a photograph of jerome bonaparte, only this drawing of him and his wife. i thought it looked realistic enough to illustrate the point here)

eu sinta sua falta

i feel your absence.

day one

Q: "so...what's changed?"

A: "the air and the light"

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i live alone now. completely alone. this room has become mine. and it will be the place i use to find calm through creation. i like that idea.

i'm just waiting

for the hurt to stop. but it doesn't seem to want to go. so intead, this has become my life. empty. alone. and bare.